A Lady's Journal
by MirandaBasilisk
Summary: A tattered journal found in castle Redcliffe tells the tales of Elissa Cousland. A journey of self-discovery. Lessons learned in courage, bravery and love. (I go 'off page' I promise! ;-) )
1. He loves me, He loves me not

He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not.  
This is my question.

Who you might ask? My beloved Alistair. Whatever our relationship might be now, I should probably start this tale from the beginning. Ours is not a typical love story, but rather one born amongst battle, rife with with death and blood and sacrifice. My love for Alistair is pure and chaste, although we have been found kissing by the campfire on a few occasions. So few things are still pure in this land of nightmares, the Maker has truly blessed me with Alistair, Lelianna and the others.

Ah, but my story is confusing by starting in the middle of the tale. I must go back to the night my life changed, but it is late this evening. I'll start anew in the morn.


	2. Lying in Wait

I always took my home for granted. It was a grand castle, riddled with side passages and secret entrances from one part to another. As children, my brother and I used some of these secret passages to play pranks on one another. He would put frogs in my bed and I would hide my favorite toys under his and get him in trouble with Father. We loved each other but I don't think we ever said it. He would call me a brat, which I was, and I would call him a bully, which he wasn't. Even the day he left for war, I teased him, not realizing that I may never see him again.

The cold stone walls held secrets too. Not just those of boys and girls, frogs and toys. I had a secret romance with Roland, Ser Gilmore, when I was sixteen. It only lasted a few months before Mother found out. He would stand outside my window and sing poorly to me and I would laugh at him. He still came back the following night and I would laugh again, all the while I flirted with him. I was learning how to wield feminine wiles, as Mother said I would need them when I married. She was always pushing me towards marriage, but Father held back. He knew that I had no desire to marry and raise a family at such a young age. Father indulged me, putting off the topic of my marriage over and over again. I was grateful.

Father always indulged me. I can remember times when he let me join the hunt. My arrows shoot true and I have had my fair share of kills. Fergus and I would compete. I was a better shot than he, but I can barely lift a broadsword, much less swing it in a meaningful manner. I left the lists to him.

Mother rarely indulged me. She was kind but strict. I learned all the niceties of nobility: how to sit, how to stand, curtsey, dance, play the harp, and paint. I learned how to run a household and keep servants. I never liked how Mother allowed Nan to treat the elves, but it wasn't my house to order.

Both Fergus and I were well educated in politics and culture. I speak three languages. I know the Cousland family history back to when we were merely Banns. I've met a few of the Ferelden nobles as we entertained them, mostly Arl Howe, since he was our vassal. I've danced with many a gentleman since my coming out, and frightened a few of them with my level of education and strong opinion.

My life changed the day I met Duncan. Father introduced him as a Grey Warden. He was middle-aged, younger than Father, but still had a significant amount of grey in his hair. I briefly wondered if a "Grey Warden" was required to have grey hair. His skin wasn't grey, so how would anyone identify him as a Grey Warden? Duncan was dressed as a warrior, with two long daggers strapped to his back. He looked fierce, but his voice was kind as we were introduced. He said he was at Highever to recruit for the Grey Wardens and was considering Ser Gilmore, among others. I expressed an interest in joining so that I could fight with Fergus and Father at the forefront of battle, but Father refused. He said I was needed here to run the castle while they were away. I was to be in charge!

My brother left that afternoon, and Father was preparing to leave the next day. King Cailan was waiting in Ostagar, preparing for a major assault against the darkspawn. He needed as much support as he could muster for the upcoming battle. I spent the day exchanging pleasantries with Arl Howe and meeting Duncan, then running around after my hound, Loki, who had slipped into the larder again. Our cook, Nan, was most aggravated by his actions, as she always is, and threatened to quit. (Again.) So I went with Roland to find out what was the matter and as it turns out giant rats had infested the larder and Loki was trying to fend them off. Good dog, Loki!

Ah, but I have become distracted – back to the night my life changed.

I awoke from my sleep to the sounds of fighting. I was shocked. How could the battle be here when the king was fighting the darkspawn in the south? I rushed to get dressed and found Mother at my door, dressed for war with a longbow and a quiver full of arrows. I turned at a sound, then pushed Mother aside a blow struck the air between us. I grabbed an arrow from Mother's quiver and drove it into the man's eye. He staggered backwards and fell to his knees. That was when I recognized the livery of Arl Howe. Wolves in sheep's clothing… we had foolishly let them into our home – yielding every courtesy – and we were to be repaid with blood.

I killed my first man that night. Sadly, it would not be my last.

Mother and I wound our way down through the castle, but saw no sign of Father. Our intent was to go to the armory first and take the family sword and shield, but Howe's men overwhelmed us and we barely made it out alive. Fire obscured our path, and we left Roland defending the great hall from the invaders. When we came upon a group of Howe's men, we shot them full of arrows. It was then that I realized my archery skills may have come from Mother. I had never seen her hunt before. I had no idea she could shoot a bow. And I would never have imagined her killing a man. But all these things came true that night as we snaked our way about the castle. Eventually, we discovered Father in the pantry, near the secret exit to the castle. Duncan found us there.

I begged Father to come with us out the secret exit, but he refused. Instead he gave me into Duncan's care. I begged Mother to join us, but she was adamant about not leaving Father's side. She said she could give us a head start. I remember her last words to me: "I am no pampered Orlesian maid. I can fight as welll as any man. I love you. Now go." Duncan had to drag me down the tunnel, for I couldn't see through my tears. I started back towards them twice with the foolhardy notion that I could save them, but Duncan was persistent in his task. We fled the castle and went to Ostagar.


	3. Ostagar

Except for my sorrow, the trip to Ostagar was uneventful. Once we arrived, Duncan returned to his tent, presumably to prepare for the battle, but I wandered the ruins to the east. It was quiet except for the occasional guard and I was left to my own thoughts. I sat down on a ledge, leaning against a pillar.

The sun shone brightly down upon me. How dare it? I was in so much pain. How dare the land look peaceful and lovely while evil lurked below? How could the sky be so blue? Lazy white puffs of cloud floated by as I gazed upwards. Why did the world go on turning, when mine was gone? Ripped from beneath me in the space of a few hours. How? My family was gone. I couldn't even comprehend it. If I closed my eyes, I saw my father's smiling face and my Mother's knowing smirk when she thought I wasn't looking. Memories of Fergus teaching his son swordplay and my sister-in-law weaving at her loom swamped me. If I just went back to Highever, they would be there.

Or not.

My father had given me into Duncan's care to become a Grey Warden. But what _is_ a Grey Warden? It seemed as if it was simply some vague notion involving duty and darkspawn and the Blight. My history lessons told me of tales of Grey Wardens swooping down on great griffons, fighting back evil, slaying the archdemon and saving the land. Duncan was adamantly silent on the matter. There is a trial and a ritual to be performed, and then fighting and killing darkspawn. Is that all? It sounded so trivial yet so ominous. This seemed completely inadequate for the Lady Cousland of Highever. Was I better than this? And what could I do without a castle and a standing army? Nothing. Nothing at all.

Guards passed by me while I sat there gazing out at the landscape before me. They addressed me as 'My Lady', not knowing who I was. By the time the second guard passed, silent tears ran down my cheeks. The sun was warm upon my skin, relentless in its beauty. I closed my eyes and let the pain pass through me, soaking in every pore, battling the warm sunlight that threatened to engulf me in peace. I didn't want peace. I wanted to hold on to my pain, on to my anger. My fury fueled me. Arl Howe would pay for his betrayal. I knew not when or how, but he would pay. And I would do it. I would separate his head from his shoulders and place it upon a pike in front of Amaranthine. I would see him drawn and quartered, a traitor's death, his body parts sent to the far corners of Ferelden. If only I were king.

The king! He would return Highever to me. He would punish Howe. He would give me justice. Oh, I could not wait for this skirmish to be over. King Cailan would make it right. Isn't that what kings do? Howe would not get away with this brutal attack on my family. I would have my revenge.

I dried my tears and stood up. The king's tent was not far from here. Perhaps he had news of Fergus. Perhaps my brother was alive after all! I would go for news. As one of the leading nobles in this land, the king should grant me an audience. My father was dead, but that left Fergus and I as the reigning leaders of Highever. I set off determinedly towards the camp and the king's tent.

I was refused an audience with the king. I informed the guard who I was. I was still refused. I shouted and spat at the commander, but none of my acidic words scratched him. No matter how I carried on, proper or common, nothing gained me any ground. They wouldn't even reveal Fergus' whereabouts. Only that he was "scouting in the wilds". I cursed the guardsmen and damned their heirs for generations. It was most unbecoming of a lady, but I couldn't care less.

"What is this commotion?" A loud booming voice demanded.

"I am Lady Elissa Cousland and I request an audience with King Cailan."

"You have a rather acerbic tongue for someone making a request."

"I can assure you that my need to see the king is great."

"I am certain that it is, my lady, but the king is occupied at the moment. We are about to embark on a battle with the darkspawn. If you would be so kind as to give me the message, I will relay it to the king."

I was very skeptical. I did not know this man with dark hair and a pinched face. He was dressed better than any guard or soldier I had met so far and I assumed he was someone important.

"And you Ser, would be….?"

"Teryn Loghain Mac Tir, at your service." He gave me a slight bow.

I returned the bow. "My apologies, Teryn. I had no idea who I was speaking to. I would just like a brief word with King Cailan regarding my home."

"What of it?"

"We were attacked and my family has been slain by Arl Howe. I don't know his motives, or if he plans to make any moves upon the king, but I felt this was important information that King Cailan should know."

"I see. Very well, I will be sure to pass along the message."

"Thank you, Teryn."

He inclined his head. "My lady." Then he turned and headed into the king's tent. I heard Cailan's voice in the background, "Loghain, what was that about?" I didn't hear Loghain's reply but I assumed he was relaying my message. Loghain was known as a hero from the war with Orlais. My father fought beside him and King Maric in the war and Father spoke highly of Loghain's skills as a tactician. I had confidence that my message would be received.

My ire was spent so I began investigating the camp. The mages were in a separate area to the north, and templars guarded them so they would not be disturbed. I met Wynne, an elderly mage, who spoke to me briefly. I convinced a guard to give a condemned man a bit of his food and water. I was doing well, I thought, although I could have used a little companionship from Loki. Duncan had him locked away with the other war dogs until the battle. Duncan assured me that my trusty hound would be returned to me.

When I grew tired of the camp, I sought out our guide as Duncan instructed. I found him up the hill speaking with a mage. I wandered into their conversation, eavesdropping as I did. I turned to look at the young Grey Warden beside me and that was when I first laid eyes on Alistair. He was tall and handsome and spoke to the mage with such cheek! I liked him immediately. Little did I know at the time how precious he would become to me.


	4. The Joining

This ritual is a secret. I did not know why. What horror did it contain? Oh, so many things I have learned since then. When I think of the joining, I shudder. But in truth it was only a small preparation for things that came afterwards.

Duncan sent us into the wilds to obtain darkspawn blood and recover ancient treaties that lay in an abandoned ruin. I'm still not sure I understand why the Wardens would leave something so important as treaties in a decrepitated ruin in the middle of nowhere for centuries. I realize the Wardens are fairly nomadic, but that should not be an excuse.

We met our first darkspawn and dispatched them easily. I let the men charge forth with their swords, while I stood at a safe distance with my bow. Mother taught me to shoot and I am quite good at it. Thinking of Mother saddens me, but I am blessed by the Maker that she taught me well.

After the skirmishes, I had to retrieve the darkspawn blood and that was rather gruesome. Darkspawn are vile creatures. Legend says they were once human and created when a portal was opened to the Golden City turning it into the Black City by the corrupt magistars entering it while still alive. This opening allowed wickedness and evil to bleed into the Maker's realm, creating the darkspawn. I can easily believe such an evil tale. The darkspawn are warped looking beasts, part human part animal, all foul. They are formed like a human with arms and legs, sprout fangs like a beast, fight like a knight or cast like a mage. There are non-humanoid darkspawn but they are fewer in number than the ones that attack you with sword and shield.

I nearly lost what little was in my stomach as well as my nerves while trying to collect the blood. I recited in my head that this is what I had come to do and so I must do it. Besides there was a chance that I might find my brother in the Wilds, as he was sent there to scout. I dreaded having to tell him of our parents death and that of his wife and child. I cringed at the thought, even more than I cringed at the dead darkspawn hurlock before me.

When looking for the scrolls of ancient treaties we did not find them. The old chest had been broken and the scrolls removed. However, we were greeted tersely by a Witch of the Wilds named Morrigan. She accused us of being trespassers, which in a sense I had to agree although I did not admit it. It is true that the ruin once belonged to the Grey Wardens, but it had been abandoned for centuries, thus it is difficult to enforce such ownership. But I digress.

Morrigan took us to her mother's hut, where we met Flemeth, a true Witch of the Wilds. She was kind enough to give us our treaties, but I did not trust her. Although she will come to save our lives, I always suspected there was a reason behind it. There is… there is… but I am not ready to speak of it yet. In any case, Morrigan led us out of the Wilds before dark so that we could return to Duncan and get on with the ritual.

The ritual is a secret for a reason. As you drink the blood of darkspawn you are either killed or transformed. One recruit, Daveth, did not survive the transformation. I was saddened by this as I really liked him. Ser Jory, for all his original boasting turned coward during our adventure. When he watched Daveth die, he refused to take part in the ritual. Ser Jory pulled his sword and threatened us, at which point, Duncan ran him through. I was dumbfounded. Why not let him go? Or was joining the Wardens such a prize that once you agree you must commit? We should have been warned of this ritual. We should have been warned of the nightmares. We should have been warned of the reduced lifespan. Duncan did us no favors by keeping it all a secret. At least I have Alistair to guide me in all things Warden, although by now I probably know as much as he does.

How can I describe the ritual? You drink darkspawn blood, mixed with other, unknown components and say the proper words. Oh, but the sensations! It is like nothing you have ever encountered before, nor anything you will encounter. Your body feels as though it is exploding and imploding at the same time. Your mind is torn apart and the visions are overwhelming. You see the arch-demon surrounded by his horde of darkspawn as if they are trampling you, while your body feels trampled. It takes only a minute for the transformation, but it an eternal minute in the fires of oblivion.


	5. Council of War

King Cailan requested my presence at his Council of War. I have no idea why he requested my presence, but one does not decline the king.

When I arrived, Loghain and the king were arguing about the upcoming battle. King Cailan was tall and broad shouldered, with golden blond hair. He looked magnificent in his armor: commanding and princely. In contrast, Teryn Loghain was dark and unkempt. King Cailan wanted to fight on the front lines but Loghain said it was too dangerous. To which, Cailan replied that we should wait on aid from the Orlesians. Ah, but a bitter turn that argument took! I stayed silent and simply watched. I was shocked that Teryn Loghain spoke to the king with such impertinence!

The king interrupted Loghain's tirade long enough to speak to me personally.

"My Lady Cousland, Duncan has told me about your family. You have my sincerest condolences."

"Thank you, Your Majesty. My brother Fergus does not yet know. I was told he is scouting in the Wilds."

Cailan nodded his head. "Yes, we do not know his exact location now, but after the battle you shall be reunited. Then I will turn my armies north and we will deal with Howe."

"My sincerest thanks, Your Majesty."

He nodded at me and went on with the battle plans. King Cailan was enamored of the Grey Wardens, and I with him. It was a fleeting infatuation, brought on by the enormity of the situation. I watched as he laid out his strategy. Duncan and the other Grey Wardens would be on the front lines with the king's army, battling the brunt of the darkspawn forces. Teryn Loghain was going to enter the fray after the signal was lit at the tower.

The king asked, "Who should light the beacon?"

"I have men stationed at the tower already," Loghain replied. "It is not a dangerous task but essential."

King Cailan stood up from the map. "Then we should send our best. Send Alistair and the new Grey Warden to see that it is done."

It seemed like a trivial task, but one does not argue against the king. I responded simply, "I'll do my best, Your Majesty."

After the meeting, Alistair and I expressed to Duncan our disappointment with the plan.

"What? I won't be in the battle?" asked Alistair.

"I agree with Alistair," I added. "We should be in the battle."

Duncan looked at both of us in turn. "This is by the king's command."

Alistair's frustration was obvious in his sarcastic reply. "So he needs two Grey Wardens holding up the torch, just in case?"

"The king has made his decision. You two will go to the tower and prepare to light the signal."

"My brother is missing and the rest of my family is dead. I want to fight!"

Duncan turned his gaze to me. "You had the opportunity to protest to the king, yet you did not. Why do you question his orders now?"

I flushed red with embarrassment. Looking down, I answered automatically. "One does not question one's king."

"Yet you are."

Embarrassment, anger, frustration, guilt, and grief all swirled within me. I dug my nails into my hands in an effort to regain my composure. I took a deep breath. "I apologize Duncan. I shall not question my king's orders."

"But…" Alistair began.

Duncan silenced him with a look. "Do as the king asks, Alistair. This is an important task that he has entrusted to you both. Treat it as such. Remember that you are both Grey Wardens and I expect you to be worthy of that title. I will see you after the battle."

"Duncan, may the Maker watch over you."

"May the Maker watch over us all."

Duncan placed a hand of each of our shoulders. He gave us a small smile, then turned away and strode towards the battlefield. I adjusted my bow and made ready to leave when I glanced up and saw that Alistair was watching Duncan's retreating back, lines of worry etched along his young face.

"Are you all right, Alistair?"

"What? Yes. Let's go. We haven't much time."

I heard barking and turned around to be greeted by Loki. Duncan had kept his word and I would have my war hound at my side for the battle. Kneeling down, I scratched the dog behind the ears.

"We need to go," said Alistair.

"I know. Come on boy." I left my sentence open to interpretation and led the way.

It should have been a simple thing: climb the tower, light the beacon, and watch as Loghain's forces flanked the enemy. But nothing is as it should have been.

The path to the tower was fraught with rocky footing and incoming missiles. I ducked and weaved as arrows slung past me, and was thrown off my feet as a large boulder knocked out part of the bridge just as I was about to step upon it. Fortunately, there was still a path across the bridge to be had by picking your footsteps carefully.

As we approached the tower, a guard ran forward to greet us, with a Circle mage quick on his heels. "The tower's been overrun with darkspawn! We don't know where they came from – maybe they sprung from the ground – I've heard that's possible."

"We need to get to the top of the tower," I informed him.

"This is Bartel," he said introducing the mage. "He will go with you. I must stand guard out here and make sure no others enter the tower behind you."

I nodded my accent and signaled everyone to follow me. We entered the courtyard and saw a dozen darkspawn. Alistair and Loki charged the nearest of the beasts. I picked a target and started shooting. The mage behind me did the same. We had the creatures defeated quickly with only scratches to us.

Alistair and Loki rushed up to my side. "Well Alistair, you wanted to fight."

He grinned back at me. "We have our work cut out for us."

I spotted another darkspawn that popped up from the ground and drew an arrow from my quiver. As it started to charge me I sent the arrow through it's throat. It fell immediately.

"Nice shot," Alistair commented. With a nod he indicated the path before us. "Shall we?"

I nodded and we proceeded to clear out the tower floor by floor, looting the corpses and chests along the way for ammunition, weapons or armor. Anything we could use against these monsters. Time was running out for us when we reached the top floor. I opened the door and saw a giant ogre growling down at us.

We all froze for a split second. The monster filled the room. It let out an enraged howl. Even as I wondered how it got in there, there was an arrow in my hand. Peripherally I saw Alistair and Loki flanking the creature. I started shooting and Bartel began casting. It was a lengthy battle and we were all bruised and bleeding by the time it was done.

"The signal," Alistair panted.

I went to the fireplace and lit it. I heard the thatch rustle as it caught fire. I dashed to the window and looked down on the battlefield. It was difficult to see, but it looked as if Teryn Loghain turned his forces away from the battle. I pounded on the window. "No! No! You bastard!"

"Maker preserve us," I heard Alistair say from behind me. I turned to tell him of Loghain's treachery when I saw what he saw. A horde of darkspawn descending upon us.


	6. Witch of the Wilds

I awoke to see Morrigan, the striking witch of the wilds we met before the battle, standing over me.

"Your eyes are finally open. Mother should be pleased."

I glanced around. I was lying in some sort of bed inside a hut. I was wearing a thin shift. I tried sitting up, but my head spun. "What happened?"

"You were injured and then Mother rescued you."

"How did I get here?"

Morrigan smiled. "To hear Mother tell the tale she turned into a giant eagle, swooped down and grasped each of you in a talon. If you don't like that tale, I suggest you ask her yourself."

I groaned, wondering how difficult it was going to be to get direct answers from the witch. I tried sitting up again, but it was difficult. I looked around the small hut and found it hard to believe that two people lived here. There seemed to be only one bed and a fire pit for cooking. The bed was against a partial wall, so perhaps there was another bedroom behind the wall that Elissa couldn't see from this vantage point. It really didn't seem to matter much, she wouldn't be staying long - she hoped.

"What happened at the battle?"

"The man who was to come to your aid quit the field. Your king and his brethren were massacred."

Loghain! So it wasn't a dream – it was a nightmare. My fist clenched. I looked up at the dark haired witch. "Where's Alistair? Is he all right?"

She let out a sharp laugh. "That dim-witted fool who travels with you? He's out by the fire. Your friend is not taking it well."

I stood up too quickly and the room spun. I pushed past Morrigan, stumbling outside. The sun burned my eyes. I tried to shade them as I scanned for Alistair. I put one foot in front of another calling out for Alistair but eventually tripped on a rock. I felt strong arms catch me.

"I'm here." I looked into his eyes; they were full of concern. He set me on my feet properly and let go. "I… I was worried about you. I thought you were dead for sure."

"I'm fine," I replied, a half truth, as my head started to clear and my eyes adjusted to the light.

"They're gone. All of them… the king, Duncan…" his voiced caught.

I suddenly shivered. All those brave men. King Cailan. Duncan. Memories of the men I knew all too briefly flashed through my head.

Loghain would pay for his treachery.

Flemeth came up to us then. She sent Morrigan off to make stew while she told us more of the battle and Loghain's traitorous act. Her reason for saving us was so that we, as Grey Wardens, could unite Ferelden against the Blight. Perhaps there is a bit of compassion in the witch's heart? Or perhaps the darkspawn were simply messing up her front lawn and she thought we could get rid of the pests for her.

Morrigan returned with Loki in tow. I bent down and petted the hound, holding him to me tightly. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost him.

"Your dog arrived this morning. He must be a talented tracker to follow your scent here," Morrigan announced.

"He is bonded to me. He will protect me with his life."

"There is one more thing I can offer you, Grey Wardens. Morrigan, I want you to travel with them," Flemeth proclaimed.

"But Mother, why should I?"

"Because you've always wanted to explore the world beyond the Wilds. And I suspect they couldn't find their way to Lothering without you."

"I can guide them out of the Wilds, that is simple enough."

"No, I want you to accompany them. They will need your skills to defeat the darkspawn. I don't need you underfoot and the experience will be good for you."

Morrigan cast her mother a withering look. "Very well. I will get my things together. We'll leave at first light."

"No. You will leave now."

"Yes Mother dear," Morrigan began, her voice scathing. "The stew is on the fire. Don't burn down the hut while I'm away."

"If you don't succeed, then a burned down hut is not what you will find. All will perish under the Blight. Even I." Flemeth turned to us. "And you Grey Wardens, do you understand? I give you that which I value above all else in this world. I do this because you must succeed."


	7. Lothering Part 1

It took us two days to reach Lothering. Alistair and I took long watches in camp as we didn't feel confident in Morrigan. She camped away from us anyhow. On our way into the city we met some bandits who demanded an entrance fee. We were firm in our rejection and I informed them that we were Grey Wardens.

"Grey Wardens, eh? There's a price on your heads."

I looked at Alistair and he shrugged.

"Maybe we ought to collect that bounty," said the bandit leader as he drew his sword. I backed up as I pulled my bow forward. Alistair unsheathed his sword and swung his shield forth. Morrigan began chanting behind us and Loki snarled, crouching into attack position.

The battle was brief – the bandit leader cried truce after his first man fell. "We cannot best you. I beg you for mercy."

"Then be gone and never terrorize this village again. If I catch you doing the same thing to other villages, then I won't hesitate to kill you on sight."

The bandits took off and we started towards town when Alistair said, "Hold up! What's this?"

I turned to see a fallen knight. I knelt beside him to see if he was breathing but he was cold.

We searched him for identification and found naught but a piece of paper and a locket. I opened the locket and saw a miniature of a woman. Sadly, I put it in my pocket. "Maybe we will learn something in town."

Walking down the hill we had our first look at Lothering. It was a sad sight to see. Refugees were camping everywhere, tents and bedrolls spread throughout the town. We talked to a farmer who told us gleefully about our bounty and how he would gladly attack us with a pitchfork if he thought he could take us.

The templar knight wasn't of much help except to direct us to the Chantry. It was late in the day, and prayers were not the first thing on my mind. Food and a bed took foremost priority. We headed towards the inn.

At the bridge, we saw an orphan looking for his mother. He said that bandits attacked them and his mother told him he was to run to the village and wait for her there. No matter how much he searched, he couldn't find her. I offered to help him look, but he was adamant that he shouldn't go with us. I gave him a silver piece and sent him to the Chantry. Most likely his mother was dead, but I wouldn't be the one to tell him that.

Crossing the bridge, we spotted the inn. Refugees were scattered about and I feared that my dreams of a hot meal and a warm bed might just be that – dreams. We headed into the inn anyway.

But upon entering, we were greeted with a most unwelcome sight – Loghain's men.

Their leader turned around and spoke. "Well, well, well… what do we have here? It looks like a group of traitors."

A good sister of the Chantry stepped up between us. "These are probably just more refugees looking for food and shelter."

"These aren't refugees, these are Grey Wardens. We were just asking around town about them this morning, were't we boys?"

I lifted my chin proudly. "We aren't the traitors here. We didn't betray the king, Loghain did!"

He reached over and grabbed my chin firmly in his hand. I heard Alistair unsheathe his sword and Loki snarled. "Pretty little liar. I should take you to bed and put you in your place. I'm always looking for a talented tongue."

I pried his hand off my chin and head butted him. There was no room to draw my bow, so I fought as best I could with a dagger. I slashed their leader across the face with the dagger, leaving my brand upon him. Kicks and punches did little against a fully armored knight, so I tried to trip him. Once on the ground, they have trouble getting up. I succeeded by attacking the back of his knees and he went down like a statue. I sat down on top of his armor and put my dagger to his throat.

"Call them off," I growled.

"Why? I've got you right where I want you. He reached for me with his hands but I stomped on the back of his wrist with my heel. I pushed my dagger against his throat and drew blood. "Call. them. off!"

Hatred glared in his eyes and it was reflected in mine. Reluctantly, he called out to his second. The fighting stopped almost as abruptly as it started. Swords sheathed and refugees stopped screaming. There had been a stampede around us as the fight had ensued but all fell silent once more.

"Give me one good reason not to kill you," I said to the leader.

"There has been enough blood shed already," said the Chantry sister.

I looked up at this shining beauty, covered in blood and whose hand wielded a sword. It seemed strange to me that she would fight and yet be so quick to mercy. With one last glare, I stood up, placing my full weight on the man's sword wrist as I did so. I heard a soft crack. I didn't think I did much permanent damage but his wrist would hurt for at least a few days.

His men – those who hadn't already fallen – helped him stand up. He spat at me. "This isn't over, bitch."

I slapped him across the face as hard as I could. "No. Next time I will kill you. Now run along to your master and tell him that the Grey Wardens know what he did and there will be a reckoning."

I was slow to sheathe my dagger, and I think my hand trembled even as I did so. All this pointless killing – was this to be my future?

The young sister put away her sword and stepped forward to speak to me. "Greetings Grey Warden. My name is Lelianna."

I recognized her accent as Orleasian. She wore the robes of the Chantry but wielded a sword like a fighter. Her short red hair was adorned with a single small braid. She was a beautiful young lady and I felt a pang of jealousy.

"My name is Elissa. This is Alistair and Morrigan. We thank you for taking arms for us, but you needed have done that."

Lelianna giggled. "Yes, I can see that you are quite capable, but still I would join you."

"Excuse me?"

"I had a dream… a vision… the Maker wants me to join you in your fight against the darkspawn."

Alistair snorted. "More crazy? And here I thought we were full up."

I elbowed him in the ribs, but only struck his splint mail.

Lelianna continued, "What you do, what you are meant to do is the Maker's work. Please let me help."

"We run a hard road, Sister. It will be dangerous. We need more than prayers."

"I can fight. I can cook. And I will keep your spirits up during dark times. You will see. Please, allow me to join you. It is the Maker's will."

"You realize that we will have to kill. Is that the Maker's will?"

"The Maker has sent me to you. I will do what needs to be done."

I sighed. It seemed as though she would not be deterred. "Very well. You may come with us. I have some spare armor and a bow."

Morrigan shook her head. "Perhaps your skull was cracked worse than I thought."

I chose to ignore the witch. "Lelianna, we need food and shelter for the night. Do you know where we can find it?"

"There is no room at the Chantry will all the refugees, but I know of a place just outside town where the river flows and we may catch fish."

"Very good. Lead the way."

I saw Alistair sitting by the fire and walked over to him. He was looking contemplative and I wasn't sure if I should interrupt him, but I asked if I could join him. We sat in companionable silence for several minutes before I spoke.

"I wanted to kill them today."

"Who? Loghain's men?"

"Yes. I felt such… hatred and betrayal." I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. "I've never wanted to kill another person until this all started. Until Howe invaded my home and murdered my family. Until Loghain betrayed the king on the battlefield."

Alistair turned and looked at me but there was only compassion in his eyes.

"Does this make me a bad person?"

"No. I have anger in my heart too, but we can't allow it to overcome us. We have a duty to stop the Blight. Loghain and Howe must wait."

A single tear slipped down my cheek. I felt Alistair's gaze on me but I couldn't stop myself. Another tear followed the first.

"Please don't cry. I don't know what to do with a crying woman."

I rested my forehead on my knees. "I'm sorry." But I couldn't stop the tears. They kept falling.

Several long minutes later I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder. I cried all the harder for the kindness and Alistair removed his hand. After a while, the tears subsided. I turned to look at Alistair who was staring into the fire once more.

"Will you go with me?"

He looked quizzical. "Where?"

"To Highever. I want to see what has become of my home. If Arl Howe's men are still there or in case Fergus has returned…"

"Elissa, do you think that is such a good idea?"

"I have to know! I can't go on not knowing forever." I paused for a moment before rambling on. "I don't mean we have to go now, tonight, or anything but if we happen to be near there, I want to go. I need to see for myself."

Alistair's hazel eyes stared into mine for a long time while he pondered the question. "I suspect if I say no, you will just go by yourself. I can't let you do that. So yes, I will go with you."

I smiled in relief. I contemplated reaching my hand out to him but changed my mind. "Thank you, Alistair. This means a lot to me."


	8. Lothering Part 2

We decided to spend another day at Lothering. Lelianna needed to speak to the Revered Mother and we were hoping to find a merchant in town before moving on. As we approached town, we heard cries for help and saw darkspawn attacking a man and a boy. We launched into the fray and dispatched them easily. It was so much easier to kill a monster than a man I thought, as I reflected on the previous day.

The merchant came up to us. "Oh thank you! You saved us. My boy and I were just about to leave town when we were attacked."

"You're welcome," I said.

"My name's Bodhan and this is my boy, Samuel. Say hello Samuel."

"Hullo."

I smiled. The boy seemed a bit dim-witted but at least he had a good father to take care of him.

"I don't suppose you will be traveling anytime soon?"

"We have some things to take care in town first. We may be in a day or two."

"Oh." The merchant sounded disappointed.

"Besides," I added, "you probably don't want to travel with a group of Grey Wardens. With the bounty and all."

"Aye. You may come across more trouble than my boy and I can handle. Well, we'd best begin cleaning up."

We continued back into town and as we approached the inn, I saw what I had not seen the evening before: a man standing in a cage, chanting. I was curious about him, so I turned to my companions, Alistair and Leliana, and asked, "What do you think?"

Alistair cocked his head quizzically. "About what?"

"The man in the cage."

He peered over my shoulder. "Oh, right. The fellow starving to death. Got it."

"He's been there for many days. I think we should talk to him," said Lelianna. Alistair nodded in agreement.

We turned around and walked over to the man in the cage.

"You are not one of my captors. I have nothing to say that would amuse you. Leave me in peace," said the large man in the cage. He looked to be older, in his thirties, but that was hard to guess since he wasn't human.

"Well, hello to you too," I replied.

The man ignored me and returned to chanting.

"What are you chanting?"

"It is a Quanari prayer. You would not understand."

"Why are you in a cage?"

"I slaughtered eight humans and children. An entire farmhold."

I frowned. "Any particular reason?"

The man closed his eyes and resumed chanting.

Alistair spoke up. "Quanari are renowned warriors. If we could release him, then perhaps he could be of some use to us."

"We should speak to the Revered Mother," Lelianna said. "Death by starvation or to be left for the darkspawn is too horrible to contemplate. Even for a murderer."

I looked back and forth between Alistair and Lelianna. Then I turned back to the man in the cage. "What is your name?"

The man stared down at me for a long minute. I knew he was scrutinizing me, looking for weakness, but I would give him none. "I am Sten of the Beresand, vanguard of the Quanari people."

"Are you interested in seeking atonement?"

"Death will be my atonement."

This fellow was making it difficult for me to save his life. "The Grey Wardens need assistance. Your atonement can be found in fighting the Blight. It threatens all the lands of this world." I turned on my heel and strode away. Dear Maker! What was I doing? Trying to make up for yesterday?

Lothering was full of problems, the most pressing one was that everyone needed to evacuate soon or the darkspawn would overcome them. We had to talk to a merchant who was overcharging the residents for items they would buy from him. I persuaded him to lower his prices for the refugees and locals. Then I had to talk down a man who was shouting in front of the chantry. He was scaring the locals with his doomsday rantings. He had lost his family to the Blight. I calmed him down enough that he eventually left.

We entered the chantry and met with the templar. He warned us of the bounty on our heads but offered us supplies. There was a knight, Ser Donnal, from RedCliffe who recognized Alistair. We learned that the Arl Eamon of RedCliffe is deathly ill with a mysterious illness. His wife, the arlessa, sent knights out across Ferelden in search of the Sacred Urn of Ashes in order to heal him. The legend is that the Sacred Urn contains Andraste's ashes and they will heal any illness. The note and the locket we found on the fallen knight belonged to Ser Henric, another of RedCliffe's knights on this quest. With a heavy heart, I turned over the locket. I felt sorrow for the woman in the portrait.

Next we met with the Revered Mother. After paying the tithe, Lelianna took over the negotiations for the Quanari. We were successful in convincing the Revered Mother to release the man into my custody. I assured her as a Grey Warden I would be responsible for him and his rehabilitation. Afterwards, I asked the Revered Mother for a blessing. As we knelt, I felt the presence of the Maker descend upon me and finally felt hope for our mission.

I had a horrible dream that I was being devoured by the archdemon. I awoke in the middle of the night during Alistair's watch.

"Bad dreams?"

"Yes, but I'm fine."

"I had terrible dreams at first. It gets better though. And you learn to control them."

"I think I saw the archdemon. Is it a dragon?"

"As far as we know, but it's more than that. It controls the darkspawn." Alistair poked the fire with a stick.

"Oh, isn't that pleasant," I replied.

"Eventually you learn to control the dreams. It takes a while though."

"Anything else I should know?"

"Well, there's the reduced lifespan."

"I should think that battling darkspawn would reduce one's lifespan greatly."

Alistair laughed. "Well, yes, it does have the potential to do that. But I was speaking in more general terms."

I looked at him quizzically.

"We only have about thirty years or so to live. Then the taint overtakes us. Duncan said that near the end, the dreams will grow worse and you can't control them as well. Duncan had reached that stage."

"Great. More fine print I neglected to read." I stood up and walked over to the fire. After warming my hands a moment, I sat down next to Alistair. "Anything else I should know?"

"Not that I know of, but I'm certain Duncan didn't tell me everything."

"More surprises to come!" I laughed lightly.

"You're taking this well."

"And why not? I've only got thirty years left to live!"

"Funny, that one was a real kicker for me."

"Oh did you want to go out hobbling in your dotage? Really, I pictured you as the type to want to go out in battle as a brawny and virile man."

"Brawny and virile, eh? So is _that_ what you think of me?" Alistair grinned.

I blushed. What did I think of him? We had known each other for so little a time. Yet I did find him attractive. "Ah, don't tell me that you don't know you are a handsome man."

"And you are a beautiful woman." I blushed further at the compliment, and looked down.

"Oh, was that an inappropriate thing to say? You are beautiful, but I won't mention it again if it makes you uncomfortable." I saw out of the corner of my eye that he was blushing too.

"No, it's fine. And thank you."

"You're welcome," he said softly.

We both stared into the fire in uncomfortable silence. Was I always so forward? Not usually beyond my family. I've always been headstrong and said what I meant around them. Maybe I just felt comfortable around Alistair. Or perhaps learning that you only have thirty years to go has made me bold. Whatever the reason, I didn't regret saying any of it.

"Since I'm awake, if you want to get some sleep, I'll cover the rest of your watch," I offered.

"Thanks. If you don't mind, I think I will take you up on that. It's been a long day."

I watched as Alistair rearranged his bedroll then lay down in his full suit of armor. After a while, I heard some light snoring coming from him. I sighed. I swore I'd never fall for a man who snores.


	9. Road to Redcliffe

We caught up with Bodhan our second day on the road. He asked if he could travel with us. The darkspawn were still thick along the southern road and he wanted the extra protection. His wagons were valuable to us as it helped to carry our tents and other belongings. It also gave us a merchant to trade with and his son is an enchanter. Now all we needed were some runes and proper weapons to put them on.

I tried to get to know all of my new companions, but no one intrigued me more than Alistair. He is a complex man: sometimes silly yet charming, sometimes thoughtful, other times carefree, shy and bold all at the same time. His light brown hair glowed a deep coppery gold in the firelight, and his hazel eyes were ever changing colors from green to brown. It was a thing of beauty to watch him fight. He was magnificent in armor, a shining knight if I ever saw one. I caught myself more than once being distracted from battle momentarily as he knocked down an opponent. I cannot afford to keep doing this as I have to keep my wits about me else I end up food for some darkspawn's dinner.

Lelianna is a sweet girl. I think of her as a girl, even though she is only a year younger than me. With firy red hair and blue eyes, she is a beautiful young woman with a voice like an angel. I often wondered if Alistair fancied her and I would not blame him if he did. Her Orleasian accent is tantalizing and hypnotic. She told the truth when she said she could fight and her cooking is good as well, certainly better than Alistair's or mine. I've had a cook all my sheltered life and never learned the art myself, but Lelianna is a kind and generous teacher. We purchased some spices from Bodhan and I am learning.

Morrigan keeps to herself. She prefers to sit alone with her own camp – fire, tent and all. When I talk with her she is friendly yet prickly. Say the wrong word and she will become upset, say the right one and you may never know you have said it. She has little patience for things she feels deviate from our goal to stop the Blight. I'm not sure she even shares the same goal. Morrigan is so complicated that I don't think I will ever understand her. What I really don't understand is her objection to Alistair. I almost wonder if she has a crush on him.

Sten is a man of few words. He still won't speak of his past and all of his answers are clipped. He is an impressive looking warrior: well over six feet tall, broad and muscular. His white hair is tied back in braids and his eyes are the color of chocolate. He keeps to himself as well, sharing a meal then retiring to his bedroll, where he meditates for hours, chanting softly in his own language.

And then there is Loki, my faithful hound. He sleeps near me most nights. Sometimes he wanders off on his own, I suppose to do dog-things. Occasionally he will run off and come back with a strange object. One time it was a dirty pair of gold and silver pantaloons, another time it was a piece of half-eaten cake. Loki reminds me of home – a home that is so far in my past as to be a dream.

As I wander the campsite with Loki at my side I think to myself: how did I end up with this rag-tag band of followers? How did I become their leader? By all rights, Alistair should be our leader – he is the senior Grey Warden. Instead he defers to me. I am lost when it comes to this quest and am simply following my instincts. Alistair suggested we go to Redcliffe and so we are going to Redcliffe. I do not know what we will find there if the Arl is ill, but it will probably not be good. I shall make it up as we go along. For now, it is enough to know that I have people behind me, willing to go to war and fight to the end. Maker, let it not be the end of us all.

Alistair was sitting by the fire looking lost in thought. I walked over and knelt beside him. "Two bits for your thoughts?"

He laughed. "I'm not sure they're worth one much less two."

"Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?"

"Tear yourself down."

Alistair looked puzzled. "I'm not tearing myself down."

"Yes you are. And you do it all the time. You disguise it as humor, but really you are just berating yourself."

"You sound like Duncan."

"Do I? I didn't know him very well."

"He used to say to me: Alistair, some people use humor as a weapon, you use it as a shield."

"What are you shielding yourself from?"

Alistair shrugged and turned back to the fire. I watched as the light flickered across his handsome features, then I reached over and put my hand on his arm. "You don't have to be shy. I'm not going to hurt you."

"Ah, but I might hurt you, my lady," he quipped.

"I'm learning rather rapidly that I'm not hurt easily."

He looked into my eyes for a long moment. Hazel into blue. I resisted the urge to look away, instead I boldly held his gaze. The fire danced beside us.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"So don't."

Alistair laughed. "It's just that simple, is it?"

"Yes."

"You are an incredible woman."

"You're changing the subject."

He grinned boyishly. "Am I? I think this is a much better topic."

I mustered up the courage to be forthright. "Of course you do because you don't have to be honest with yourself."

"You sound like Duncan again."

"Maybe he was on to something."

Alistair fell silent again. I watched as the firelight highlighted his cheekbones. His eyes were unreadable from this angle. I nudged him with my foot. "Tell me about Duncan." I paused for a moment. "Please."

"I think I told you that Duncan conscripted me. The Chantry Mother didn't want to let me leave."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. Well… maybe…"

I waited for him to continue. I noticed the hard angles of his chin, the slope of his nose, the curve of his lips. His hair was a deep rich gold in the light. I was so absorbed in looking at him that I nearly jumped when he started speaking.

"She wasn't exactly orthodox. She enjoyed toying with the templars. I was one of her pets. She wanted me to take the oath and be sworn to a life of lyrium. To her."

"Ah… and here I thought it was all innocence in the Chantry."

Alistair laughed. "Certainly not! Oh most of it is, but there are always some who… you know… aren't cut out for Chantry life but are forced there anyway."

"Were you forced to be there?"

"Yes, I was sent away because I was the bastard underfoot," he said bitterly. Alistair shrugged. "You asked about Duncan."

"You don't have to talk about Duncan. I'm just interested in you. I want you to know that you can trust me with whatever you want to say."

He took a deep breath and let it out before continuing. "Duncan didn't treat me like a bastard. He didn't treat me like I was underfoot nor did he try to control me. Even though Arl Eamon raised me from a child until I went to the Chantry, Duncan was more like a father to me than the Arl ever was. I don't blame Arl Eamon – I'm quite fond of him, in fact – but the truth is that the arlessa wanted me sent away and he did it."

"That must have made you angry."

"Of course I was angry. I took my mother's locket and I smashed it against the wall. At the time, I wanted nothing to do with the Arl ever again. I was stupid."

"Not stupid. Hurting." My heart ached for the little boy who was unwanted, brushed aside, alone and hurting. It also ached for the man that little boy had become. A person who felt he needed to berate himself for things beyond his control.

"The Arl would come to visit me in the Chantry but I was cold and distant. Sometimes I would refuse to see him. When the Chantry Mother took notice of me, his visits stopped altogether."

"I'm sorry, Alistair. You've had a hard life."

"No, I've always had food in my stomach and a roof over my head so it's not been all that difficult."

"But you must have been so lonely. That is a hard life."

"And what about you? Was your life difficult?"

I wagged my finger at him. "My tale is for another night. Tonight we are talking about you."

"You're a hard woman," he griped.

"I prefer focused." I smiled. I was intent of keeping him focused. I could tell these were things he needed to get off his chest, whether he realized it or not. Alistair is so much more than he gives himself credit for. I wish I could make him see that.

He stared at me for a long time. "You must be bored by now."

"No. I'm just listening."

"To my silence. Okay… okay… back to Duncan." He shook his head. "Duncan took me away from the Chantry life. I had the opportunity to travel and to fight and do some good in the world. We traveled across Ferelden looking for recruits. All the while we noticed that darkspawn were cropping up. Duncan said a Blight was coming. He could feel it in his dreams and in his bones. He needed good men to fight. He was looking for those ancient treaties we found. We didn't know they were in the Korcari Wilds until just before you joined us."

He stopped a moment and looked into the fire. "Duncan trained me to be a better fighter than I ever was as a Templar. He taught me to be a better man."

"Duncan had faith in you when others didn't." It may have been a trick of the firelight, but I thought I saw him nod slightly. "Alistair, you can honor his memory by honoring his faith in you. Believe him. Believe in yourself. You are a good man. Trust yourself."

I watched as stared into the fire for a long time. "Thank you," he said softly.

"You're welcome."


	10. Hidden Heritage

"Elissa, may I speak with you?"

I turned at the sound of Alistair's voice. "Of course."

It had been another long day of trading along the road, but we were nearly at Redcliffe. I was helping Leliana clean up after dinner when Alistair spoke up. He guided me away from the others, towards a darker part of camp. The moon was nearly full and the sky was bright that evening. "I wanted to talk to you alone."

"We're pretty alone over here, except for Loki." I reached down and petted the dog's ears. Alistair looked nervous, so I sent Loki to guard Leliana.

He watched the hound run off before speaking. "I wanted to say thank you for last night. You were so kind to me."

I smiled. Alistair was quickly becoming dear to my heart and I did not know how to stop it. "I'm glad I could help. I meant what I said."

"I want to give you something." He pulled a rose from behind his back. "I picked this in Lothering. I want you to have it."

I took the small rose in my hands and looked at it. "Thank you."

"I saw it and I thought: here, amongst all this darkness and corruption, here is something beautiful. It kind of reminded me of you. Strong and beautiful against the darkness."

I was speechless. The sentiment was so touching and his words so lovely.

"Well, uhm, yes, there's something else I need to tell you too. Now that the warm, fuzzy bits are over."

I wasn't over the warm, fuzzy bits but apparently he was so I might as well go with it.

"Okay…"

"Did I ever tell you how I know Arl Eamon?"

"No."

His words came out in a rush.

"Well, I grew up there. You know that I'm a bastard. My mother was a serving girl in Arl Eamon's castle. He took me in because, well, my father was King Maric, and so that makes Cailan my half brother, I suppose. I would have told you sooner but I didn't want it to change things between us. Everyone who knew has either resented me or coddled me. Even Duncan kept me out of the worst fighting. I didn't want you to know for as long as possible, but I realize now that I was wrong. I should have told you sooner. I'm sorry."

I was speechless. Again. And I nearly dropped the rose in shock. I stared at him blankly.

"Elissa? Are you okay? Are you mad at me? I understand if you're mad at me. I would probably be mad at me too, but please, please forgive me."

"No, I uhm…" I was falling for a prince?!

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Oh, I _knew_ this was a bad idea, but I had to tell you."

A bastard prince.

Alistair grasped my hands, preventing the rose from slipping to the ground. "_Please?_"

I looked up at him, into those pleading eyes and I knew I would have forgiven him anything, even if I was mad. Which I wasn't. _You're strong and beautiful_ and by the way, _I'm the heir to the throne_. All in one night. The breeze picked up and the motion jarred me back to reality. "Does Loghain know?"

Alistair cocked his head. "About my parentage? Probably. Maric and Loghain were the best of friends."

"Hmm. We need to be careful then."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, you are a threat to Loghain's plans and to his daughter Anora's throne."

"Oh, I see." He looked thoughtful.

"It will be all right. We will be all right." I squeezed his fingers and smiled.

Alistair gave me his most boyish grin and dropped my hands. "Good. Then can we go back to you thinking I'm just some nobody who was too lucky not to die with the rest of the Grey Wardens?"

"No. Unless you want to count me the same."

He looked at me quizzically.

"Uhm, never mind. My story is for another night. We should probably turn in if we want to reach Redcliffe by noon." I smiled at him and sniffed the rose. "It's beautiful, thank you."

"Any time, my lady."

I turned and quickly walked back to my tent so he wouldn't see me blushing. A prince! Maker help me!


	11. The Longest Night

When we arrived in Redcliffe, we were greeted by a young man named Tomas. He told us that walking corpses come out of the castle at night and attack the town. He sent us to the Chantry to speak to Bann Teagan, Arl Eamon's brother.

We reached the Chantry and found most of the village gathered there. As we approached Bann Teagan, I sized the man up. He was tall and well-built, with blue eyes and mahogany hair with a touch of silver at the temples. He was quite attractive, which made me feel a bit better. Mother had suggested that Father offer my hand to him several months ago. Knowing that I was not fond of the idea of an arranged marriage, Father hesitated. I was always his little girl and he denied me little. If I had to marry for position, I could have been saddled with worse than Bann Teagan.

"Bann Teagan, these are Grey Wardens. They've come to see Arl Eamon," Tomas said by way of introduction.

"Well met," Bann Teagon greeted us.

"You might not remember me, Bann Teagan. The last time we met I was a lot shorter and covered in mud," announced Alistair.

"Alistair! It's good to see you. But I'm afraid you've arrived at a bad time. The castle is closed off and the village is here in the Chantry preparing to hide from the monsters that are sure to come this evening."

"Monsters?" I asked.

"Walking dead. They invade the village from the castle. We don't know what the source is but the villagers are frightened. We are keeping everyone in the Chantry this evening and I'll defend it as best I can. I have a feeling tonight will be the worst attack yet."

"Is there anything we can do to help?"

"Most of our knights are still out searching for the Urn of Sacred Ashes so we are low on military resources. The Chantry is our place of last resort. More men here won't help us, but you can check with our Mayor, Murdock, in town and Ser Perth on the hill. They might have some suggestions." He smiled at me and I thought again about how it wouldn't have been such a bad match after all. "Thank you."

As I turned to leave, Bann Teagan touched my arm. "Forgive me, my lady, but have we met? You look familiar."

"No Bann, we have not."

"You look very much like someone I know."

My mother! My mind screamed. Yes, I look very much like her. I bent my head so he could not see my face.

"May I know your name? It's awkward to call you Warden."

I raised my chin. There was no hiding now. "My name is Elissa."

"Cousland? You are Teryn Cousland's daughter?"

"Yes."

"Thank the Maker you are alive. I heard about your family. My deepest sympathies, my lady."

"Thank you. If you will excuse us, Bann, we have much to do."

"Of course," he said, removing his hand. "Maker be with you."

"And also with you." I turned and started walking away.

"A Teryn's daughter, eh?" Alistair said in my ear. "Seems I'm not the only one with secrets."

"We'll speak of this later, Alistair. Right now we have a village to save."

As we headed out of the Chantry, a distraught woman hovering near the exit caught my attention. I asked her if there was something we could do to help her. She said her mother had been taken during one of the attacks and her little brother had run off in search of their mother. She feared for his life and he was the only family she had left. I vowed to keep an eye out for him on our travels. It was the least I could do.

We found Murdock in the village square by the well. He was directing some of the locals to the Chantry when we approached him. He wasn't all that friendly until we explained that we were there to help, and even then his attitude was skeptical. He sized me up as if I was a prize horse and appeared to find me lacking. I suppose not everyone is enamored of the Grey Wardens.

The most immediate problem was the blacksmith. He had locked himself in his house and refused to speak to anyone or perform any smithy work. Arms and armor repair was needed for the militia to survive the upcoming battle, so it was left to us to convince the man to provide it.

I knocked on the door and after some coaxing, I persuaded him to let us in. The armory was dark and reeked of alcohol. Abandoned tools lie everywhere, as if he hadn't cleaned or worked in a long time. We learned that his daughter was a maid in the castle and he hadn't seen or heard from her since the attacks began. The smith was deep in his cups, but after I swore to find his daughter, he relented and agreed to work on the armor and weapons. How he would accomplish that in his drunken state was beyond me, but I had done my best to get him to make the attempt.

A thorough search of the village led us to find the lost little boy. He was hiding in a closet in his house. The boy was terrified of the monsters and didn't want to leave the safety of his closet. I totally agreed with him, but told him that his sister was desperately looking for him. I said she was scared and needed him to be brave for her. Eventually, he agreed to look after his sister, and we returned him to his her in the Chantry. It was a heart-warming reunion.

We checked with Ser Perth standing guard near the windmill. He wanted us to obtain some charms from the Revered Mother to protect his men. It took some severe convincing of the Revered Mother before she agreed to give us some amulets. Leliana disapproved as well, but this is the cost of morale, and morale is priceless. I don't think the Maker would mind something that puts men's minds at ease during troubled times.

It was nearly sunset and we had just enough time to take a meal with the local villagers before preparing to make our stand near the bridge to the castle. The battle that night was gruesome. The undead simply poured out of the castle attempting to overrun us. We fought wave after wave of them, until a messenger from the village ran up to tell us that the corpses were attacking the village from the lake. We rushed to the village square to defend them and after a long battle we beat the creatures back. Dawn could not have come soon enough.

But morning brought sorrow and grief as the villagers counted their dead. We mourned with them as they sent their lost ones away on boats to be set aflame. These were sorrowful times for Redcliffe. The Arl and his family were still trapped in the castle.

With the long night and sad morning passed, we were surveying the damage upon the hill when Arlessa Isolde ran up to us from across the bridge. She came alone and begged Teagan to return with her to the castle. She said that Conner, her son, was in danger. Isolde claimed that everyone in the castle was dead except for Conner, herself, and Arl Eamon. Against my advice, Bann Teagan agreed to go to the castle. Before he left, he took me aside. He gave me his signet ring and asked us to enter the castle through the secret entrance via the windmill.

The secret passage led us into the dungeons. After killing some abominations, we heard a cry from one of the cells. The man in the cell was a blood mage named Jowan, who was hired by the arlessa to train Conner in the art of magic. Alistair was shocked to learn that Conner had magic inclinations. What shocked me was that Isolde would hire an apostate blood mage to train her son in secret. She feared losing him to the Circle of Magi, and that I can understand, but blood magic is dangerous. The mage even admitted to poisoning Arl Eamon on Loghain's behalf. Jowan wanted to be let out of his cell, he even offered to help us however, I elected to leave him there where he could do no further harm.

We worked our way up through the castle, defeating shades and walking dead as we went. We found the blacksmith's daughter hiding in a broom closet. She was grateful for our rescue and ran off towards the village and to her father now that we had cleared a path for the girl.

When we reached the main hall, we were greeted by the sight of Bann Teagan dancing like a court jester before the boy I presumed to be Conner. He was obviously under the influence of some evil spirit. Isolde huddled in the corner, terrified of her son. She looked at us pleadingly when Conner noticed our presence. He turned his attention to us and shouted.

"You! Who are you? Are you the one who killed all my soldiers in the village?"

"I am," I replied simply. The boy's voice was unnatural and I wondered if he had been possessed by a demon.

My suspicion was confirmed when Morrigan spoke. "The boy is an abomination. We should kill him."

"No! Please don't hurt him," Isolde cried.

"You've been protecting him," I observed.

"No one needs to protect me. No one tells me what to do! Tell me, woman, why are you here?"

"I came to help you."

"I don't need your help! You are ruining my fun!"

We suddenly found ourselves surrounded by possessed guards while Conner ran off. Bann Teagan also fought us as he was compelled by the evil spirit that was controlling him. Alistair took on Teagan but refused to use a weapon on him. Instead, Alistair used his shield to knock Teagan over and beat him down with only his fist until Teagan was unconscious. The rest of us took on the guards. Only after they were defeated were we able to talk to Bann Teagan and Isolde again. Fortunately, the spell that was commanding Teagan broke when the fight ended and he was rational once more. But then came the difficult discussion of what to do?

We retrieved Jowan from the dungeon. His suggestion was to use blood magic to send a mage into the Fade to kill the demon possessing Connor. Jowan explained that the ritual normally requires several mages and lyrium but using a sacrifice and blood magic would be quicker. Isolde offered her life if it would save Connor's, but I protested that there must be another way. Alistair pointed out that the Circle of Magi could possibly do it and they weren't that far away. One of our treaties was with the Circle, so we decided that we would spare the time to visit them in hopes that the use of blood magic could be avoided.

Little did I know the horrors that would await me at the Circle of Magi.


	12. Cousland

We had all finished eating and Alistair, Lelianna and I sat around the campfire like a small group of conspirators. Sten stayed nearby as well, an unusual occurrence, as he typically went to his bedroll for prayer after dinner. Since Lelianna now had a lute, he sometimes stayed to enjoy her music.

"Your turn Alistair," Lelianna said in a sing-song voice, indicating the dishes.

Alistair grumbled, but picked up the plates, offering the scraps to Loki while Lelianna played the lute. When he was done cleaning up, he settled back down beside me, sitting close enough that I could feel his presence with my eyes closed. Lelianna sat to my right, a shining beauty of song and vibrance.

The song ended and I opened my eyes. I had leaned into Alistair unintentionally and quickly righted myself. I almost didn't hear Lelianna when she spoke.

"Tonight it is your turn, Elissa."

I blinked in confusion. "But Alistair already cleaned the plates."

The red-head laughed merrily. "No, no, no. Tonight you tell us about yourself."

I shook my head. This was not going to happen. I had no desire to tell them about myself. My lost family. "You don't want to hear about me."

"But we do! You know all of us and we know nothing of you. You are brave and our leader but we would know of your family, your heritage." She looked at Alistair for support. "Don't you agree Alistair?"

He looked hesitant to reply until Lelianna said, "Come, side with me Alistair. Sten, you too? I want to know. We want to know, Elissa. Please. It is only fair!"

I looked around me. Sten's face was impassive as ever. Lellianna was pleading and Alistair smiled encouragingly. "We follow you into battle every day." His look spoke volumes about our shared confidence. "It's up to you," he said compassionately.

"Oh please," pleaded Lelianna.

I sighed. I launched into the history of the Cousland family, a dry tale by any standards. I cited rebellions and glories of battle and how the family came to become teryns.

"So you are a noble," said Sten.

"Well, yes, I was born one. Now I am a Grey Warden."

"You are a noble wearing a warrior's cloak. I do not understand the people of Ferelden. If you are born a farmer then you are a farmer. If the farmer becomes a merchant, he is still a farmer. He was born to be a farmer. To change is against nature."

"To change is freedom."

Sten frowned. "But these teryns, they are warriors, correct?"

"Yes. We answer directly to the king."

"So you were born a warrior too. But you are a woman."

"You noticed?"

Lelianna giggled and Alistair smirked.

"Women are not warriors."

I crossed my arms. "What I am is a warrior and a Grey Warden. You have sworn an oath to follow me as such so it shouldn't matter if I am a woman or a man."

Sten grunted. "Fereldens."

Lelianna laughed. She scooted over so that she could see me better, putting her back to the fire. "You minx! You have told us boring history but nothing about you!"

This was the part I was dreading. "What would you like to know?"

"Was there someone special in your life?"

"By 'special' I assume you are asking if I had a suitor?"

"Yes!"

"Nobles don't usually marry for love. My hand was offered to Maric for a match with Calian. I was a child at the time."

Lelianna gasped. "You could have been the Queen!"

"Well, yes, I could have but it was not to be. Loghain put forth his daughter for Cailan. Anora was closer to Cailan's age, even if she is older."

I stole a glance at Alistair, but he was looking down, drawing circles in the dirt with a stick. If he felt about me as I think I do about him, then this conversation only served to make him feel less than he was. "I am a Grey Warden now," I said definitively, as if it would finish the conversation but I should have known it wouldn't.

"Ah, this is so romantic! I shall write a song… but first there needs to be a love interest. Have you none?"

I stole a sidelong glance at Alistair but he was still making stick drawings.

"Lelianna, I really don't want to talk about this. My life is not glamourous. My family was betrayed and slain by Arl Howe, a once trusted friend. Duncan saved my life and in exchange I gave mine to the Grey Wardens. That is all. I am a Grey Warden and I have a duty to stop the Blight. What I was, what I could have been, changed the night my family died."

I watched as the excitement drained from Lelianna's face. She sat back, crestfallen. She bowed her head. "I am sorry. I should not have brought up such painful memories for you. You are right. This is not a romantic ballad. This is a tragedy. Please forgive me."

I reached over and took Lelianna's hand and squeezed it. With a reassuring smile I said, "it's all right."

She smiled. "I predict you will have a happy ending someday. For now, maybe it is time for bed, no?" She rose and left for her tent.

Sten cocked his head to one side, still contemplating me. I stood up and stretched. Before I made it two steps, Alistair drew me aside.

"So, my lady, you've been holding out on me. Why didn't you tell me you are a Cousland?"

"For the same reason you didn't tell me that you were heir to the throne."

"I'm not heir to the throne! I don't even want it! I'm just a bastard."

"You're the son of a king, legitimate or not, Alistair. With Cailan gone, that makes you heir."

He shook his head. "Never mind that. You are avoiding my questions."

"I'm tired." It was the truth and an excuse all in one.

"You told me that you were from Highever and that your family was dead but you never told me you were nobility."

"Because it doesn't matter. Arl Howe betrayed my family and slaughtered them. Duncan was visiting when the attack happened. My father gave me into Duncan's care, even as his life's blood spilled on the floor. Mother stayed behind to guard our exit. She gave her life for me. My brother was in the Korcari Wilds when the battle started. It isn't likely that he survived. So now I am alone and my title means nothing."

"I'm so sorry, Elissa."

I shrugged. "I didn't go into details because I didn't think it was important."

"We should have been honest with each other from the beginning."

"That's probably true, but you were grieving and so was I. We both still are. Pain and loss guide our decisions when we let them."

"You're so wise."

I laughed. "I wish that were true! I'm just making this up as I go along."

"Well, you're doing a great job of it." Alistair grinned.

I couldn't help but to smile back. Something about his grin was infectious. As much as I wanted to stay awake, I knew I couldn't. "I don't know about you, but I desperately need sleep. The cold hard ground never looked so inviting."

"Agreed. Sten will take double watch tonight. We have mages to contend with so we will need to come up with a battle plan along the way."

"Still battling mages, Alistair? I thought your templar days were behind you."

"Ah, every mage deserves the honor of my wit and charm."

I laughed. "Of course. Good night Alistair."

I turned to leave but he gently grasped my wrist. I looked back at him quizzically. He raised my hand to his lips and kissed it softly. "Good night, my lady."

"It's just Elissa now."

"No, you will always be 'my lady' to me."

I smiled and then quickly turned away. I wasn't sure what to feel. Did Alistair think I was above his station now? Maybe it didn't matter after all. Perhaps I was the only one falling in love. These were things I could not think on tonight. Painful memories of my family also swirled through my mind but I was too tired to entertain these either. I simply walked to my tent and changed out of my armor. I lay down on my bedroll and tried not to think about any of it. Exhaustion overwhelmed all of my emotions and I was soon fast asleep.

X~~~X

I awoke as the first dusky rays of dawn streaked the sky. Morrigan was the only one awake so I decided to take advantage of the time and bathe in a small lake near our campsite. I had a bit of perfumed soap, a gift from Lady Isolde at Redcliffe, and relished in its scent. I scrubbed myself and my hair liberally, enjoying a bit of the time to myself. As I dried myself off, I realized the long weeks of travel had taken their toll on my hair.

I returned to camp, my hair a soggy mop, and discovered everyone was awake, breaking their fast on leftover biscuits. I rummaged through my pack and pulled out my jeweled hair piece, the closest thing I had to a comb, and tried to detangle my hair with it. I noticed Lelianna watching me but I focused on my task. I didn't hear her as she approached.

"Allow me, my lady." Lelianna knelt beside me with a comb in her hand. She began to lift my hair and comb it properly.

"Lelianna, you don't have to do this. I have a comb." I lifted my hand with the jeweled comb.

"That is just a pretty stick. You need a proper comb. I only wish I had a brush too."

"This isn't because of last night, is it? I told you I am a Grey Warden now, not a lady."

"You think this is why I help you? No. You are a friend and you need help with your hair. I should let it be ratty instead?" She pulled just then on a particularly stubborn snarl.

"Ow!"

Lelianna smiled mischeviously. I contemplated asking if she did that on purpose, but I knew deep down that she didn't. My hair was a mess and I did need help. It took some time before the comb would run smoothly through it.

"Now I shall braid. I like your hair, it is long and golden, but a bun is practical and not so pretty. Braids are pretty and practical."

I stole a glance in Alistair's direction. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that he had stopped to watch us. Once he saw me though, he returned to packing up his bedroll.

"There. All done. Ready for the mages now. We should go."

"Thank you, Lelianna. I appreciate your help."

"Anytime, my lady."

"Please call me Elissa."

"But you are a lady, title or no. I mean no disrespect. Come, friend, let us go see some mages!"

And with that, I picked up my belongings rapidly and we headed off to the Circle of Magi.

X~~~X

**AN: Thanks to everyone who keeps reading and reviewing. I greatly appreciate it! :)**


	13. The Circle of Magi

**AN: Sorry for the duplicate postings. Having a problem with the title appearing properly. (User error most likely ;) ) Thanks for reading!**

X~~~~X

I awoke screaming.

Leliana reached my side before anyone else. I remember her arms around me, rocking me, singing softly. First there was sleep, then there was terror, then there was Lelianna. I was trembling as if I was cold and could never be warm again. I looked up and saw Alistair in plain clothes lighting a candle in my tent. The light was welcome to fear but would not banish the memories of demons.

Alistair turned to me and took my hand in his. He felt like fire and I felt like ice. His touched burned me and I pulled away. The Fade Alistair danced in my mind and it was revolting. No, the only one I felt safe with was Lelianna. There had been no Fade Lelianna.

Alistair looked concerned but he withdrew with a quick nod towards Lelianna. I saw the others behind him as the tent flap fell back into place. I felt Lelianna's arms around me, bound in leather and chain, which clinked lightly as she rocked me. The trembling began to ease and I began to relax. I stared at the candle, focusing my mind on it and trying to shut out the memories.

I don't wish to speak of the Circle. I don't want to remember it. The demons and the Fade. No, I don't ever want to go back.

X~~~X

It was late and I was settling in to take first watch. Alistair came over and sat next to me. He remained silent for a time, and I was puzzled by his presence. He waited until everyone had settled into their respective tents and bedrolls before he spoke.

"I thought you might want to talk."

"About what?"

"About your nightmare. Was it the archdemon?"

I took a deep breath. I had been enjoying the companionable silence with Alistair but with his question the nightmare memories crept in.

"No. It was about the Circle."

"Ah," he replied. "What did you see?"

"It was... everything. There were wild abominations hunting me. Demons, shades, ghostly figures and transmutation. I was trapped in the Fade. Horrors I care not to explain." I saw Wynne trapped by her sorrow and Alistair dancing like a giddy schoolboy. Morrigan was the only rational one, identifying her mother as a demon.

"Your experience must have been different than ours. I remember being quite content with my sister and her family."

"That may have been the worst part. I was afraid you weren't going to come back to me."

He looked deeply into my eyes. "I'll always come back to you." He blushed furiously. "Well, that is, if you want me to."

_I'll always want you to come back to me_, I thought, but I kept silent and only smiled at him.

"Even though we haven't known each for long, I've come to care about you. Do you think…?" He looked away shyly.

"…that I could care about you? Yes, I believe I already do."

His gaze returned to mine and we sat motionless looking at each other. I scanned his handsome face, memorizing every inch of it but always returning to his eyes. He leaned forward and took my chin in his hand and gently kissed me. A thrill of excitement coursed through my veins. It was all too brief and over too soon.

Alistair cleared his throat. "That wasn't too soon, was it?"

"No. I don't think so. I enjoyed it."

"So did I." He smiled. I swear I melt a little every time he smiles. He gently pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I should probably go to sleep."

"I should probably be paying more attention to our surroundings," I replied.

"Goodnight Elissa."

"Goodnight Alistair."

I watched as he climbed into his bedroll still wearing his armor. That couldn't have been comfortable but he drew the short straw for second watch so maybe he wouldn't get much sleep anyway. I stared off into the darkness watching for anything unusual. I didn't realize it at first, but I didn't relax until I heard Alistair's soft snoring and I knew he was asleep.


	14. Soldier's Peak Part 1

In our travels we picked up another camp follower by the name of Levi Dryden. He told us of a place called Soldier's Peak, far to the north half way between Highever and Denerim. We were already on the north side of Lake Calenhad so it seemed like a good time to go. It still took us several days to get there. Because the First Enchanter from the Circle of Magi had agreed to go and help Conner, we felt we had no reason to return to Redcliffe immediately and thus could spare the time.

Soldier's Peak is an old Grey Warden fort, built after the second Blight. We were hoping it could be used again to rebuild the Grey Wardens. We were also helping Levi regain his family's honor by investigating the fort for clues about his great-great grandmother, Sophia, a Grey Warden. She was rumored to have been part of the rebellion that fought against the tyrant king Arland.

We were greeted in the courtyard by skeletons. After defeating them with Alistair's shield bash, Sten's powerful swing, Morrigan's spells and my arrows, we entered the building and saw a vision of the past. Ghosts of the Grey Wardens were planning to prepare for the siege of Soldier's Peak.

"Am I the only one who saw that?" asked Levi.

"The veil to the Fade is thin here," remarked Morrigan.

"Then thank Andraste you came with me!"

The Fade. I cringed. We hadn't had a skirmish since the Circle. Now we were looking at the possibility of facing demons again. An involuntary shudder wracked through me.

"Are you all right?" Alistair asked me.

"Yes. Let's go."

We cleared out the lower level of the Peak easily, disposing of walking corpses and skeletons. This didn't bother me as much as I might have thought it would. When we arrived at the second floor, we saw another vision of the past. The Grey Wardens were grouped together. It was obvious from their conversation that morale was low. Their commander gave a rousing speech and the Wardens bonded together in battle.

What we saw next was unthinkable. Some of the Warden mages had turned to blood magic! Sophia had sanctioned the use of blood magic, shouting, "Whatever it takes, Avernus!" Led by Avernus, the mages summoned demons to fight for them and the demons turned on them. The Wardens were torn apart by the very creatures they had called upon. Avernus called the mages to retreat and Sophia and the other fighting Wardens were left alone to fight the demons. Suddenly, the vision was gone and we were faced with a demon of our own to contend with.

I froze, struck dumb by the infernal creature of rage before us. Alistair and Sten charged forward, attacking the demon. Morrigan began casting next to me. I just stood there, rooted to the floor. Nausea overwhelmed me and I began to shake. No, no, I couldn't do it again! Not the Fade! Not the demons! Not again!

"Shoot!" Morrigan hissed beside me. But I couldn't. I just couldn't. I watched helplessly as Alistair and Sten did no apparent damage to the demon. Ghosts of Grey Wardens rose up and began attacking us and still I couldn't move.

Morrigan cast a blizzard spell, freezing the Wardens but no damage was done to the demon. However, I noticed that when one of the Warden ghosts fell to Morrigan's next spell, and the demon appeared to weaken. Suddenly I could move again. I raised my bow and felled another Warden. The demon weakened further and Alistair's and Sten's hits started to do some damage. The demon appeared to be siphoning energy from the Warden ghosts to protect itself.

I still couldn't look at the demon, but the ghosts I could attack. One after the other I shot them down. Finally, there was only the demon left and I lowered my bow. Alistair and Sten finished the creature off quickly.

"What is wrong with you?" Morrigan demanded with her hands on her hips. "You just stood there! We could have been killed by your foolishness."

"I couldn't… the demons… the Fade…" I stammered.

Morrigan's expression softened. "Inside the Fade, with the Sloth demon…" she trailed off.

"Yes. I battled demon after demon, while you only had to put up with a false Flemeth."

"Only! I think you had it easier than I!"

"Who had what easy?" asked Alistair as he and Sten returned to us after the fight.

"You might find it easier to keep your nose out of other people's conversations than to live as a toad," Morrigan replied.

"Hmph."

"Eloquent as ever, Alistair."

"Onward," I said, in part to break up a fight before it began.

We soon came across the commander's office and Sophia herself. As we entered the room, it became rapidly apparent that she was possessed by a demon with blackened eyes and sallow skin. I stopped just inside the door and didn't move until I felt Alistair's hand at the small of my back. He wasn't pushing, but neither would he allow me to retreat.

The possessed Sophia watched us with amusement. "Visitors! To whom do I owe this honor?"

"I'm not giving you my name, demon."

Sophia threw back her head and laughed. "Afraid of me, are you?"

"No," I lied. I schooled my face to be impassive.

"This is my great-great grandmother?" asked Levi.

"Hardly," I replied. I softened my voice. "She was your grandmother once but no longer. I'm afraid she's been possessed by a demon."

"Either that or she has really let herself go."

"She's quite right, boy. Sophia's body belongs to me now," said the demon. It rose and stood behind the desk. "Now, what shall I do with your little group? I could kill you outright but I'd rather strike a deal with you."

"I don't make deals with demons."

"But you haven't heard my offer yet."

"I don't need to hear your offer."

"Tsk, tsk. You must want something or else you wouldn't be here. I am going to guess you are a Grey Warden and you want to reclaim this fort. The veil is thin here and you will need it closed if you want to regain Soldier's Peak. I offer to close it for you in exchange for my freedom."

"No deal, demon." I signaled to my group to attack, while I grabbed Levi and ran to the door, pushing him out of it. I turned around and saw Alistair knock Sophia back with a swing of his shield. Sten's sword came down hard, but the demon dodged the attack. Morrigan cast a shock spell but Sophia was unfazed. I raised my bow and took aim. Somehow it was easier for me to attack a demon that wore another's skin than one directly from the Fade.

After our fight, I took the Warden's armor from Sophia's dead body and gave it to Sten. It seemed of much higher quality than what he was currently wearing. Levi crept back into the room and I turned to him.

"I'm sorry, Levi. We had to kill her. She was an abomination."

He looked sad all the same.

"Nothing remained of your grandmother," said Alistair.

Levi nodded. "I was hoping to clear her name, our family's name, but it seems she was guilty of treason after all. And to think she was possessed all these years. Perhaps she was already possessed when she did those things?" he asked hopefully.

I shared a glance with Alistair and he shook his head.

"No, I'm afraid she was guilty, Levi. But I am sure she had a good reason for her actions. Arland was a tyrant after all. Don't think on the past. You have an opportunity to make the Dryden name honorable again. Take that opportunity and make the best of it."

Levi nodded. "I'd like to help you here at Soldier's Peak. We could make it into a fine fort for the Wardens."

"We would appreciate that but first we have to figure out a way to seal the veil. That won't be easy. Morrigan?"

She shook her head. "Not even I can do that. It requires blood magic or that demon's offer."

"Then we'll just have to find a blood mage in our travels. I suppose we should begin by finishing what we started and clear out this fort. Levi, you don't have to come with us."

"No. I'll follow you at a distance. I feel safer with you than without you."

We next turned our attention to the tower.


End file.
